eatmorekale

they really do love each other...

2006-06-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

and now i have photographic proof!

2006-04-26T23:25:00.000-07:00

Originally uploaded by rayna.

some sick pleasure

2006-04-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

hedonistica is my new obsession... i know, i'm very easily amused, especially by other people's pain.

2006-04-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

inspired by ego

Go into your music player of choice (with the most songs) and shuffle the list. Answer the following questions with the song titles, using them in order.

How does the world see me?
Song: Velvet Goldmine Soundtrack, “Baby’s On Fire”
Comments: is this a good or bad thing?

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Saint Etienne, “Only Love Can Break Your Heart”
Comments: tell me about it!

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Alicia Keys, “You Don’t Know My Name”
Comments: hmph, well that might be a tad exaggerated.

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Annie Lennox, “Why”
Comments: i guess this means no.

How can I make myself happy?
Song: The Roots, “Stay Cool”
Comments: i concure

What should I do with my life?
Song: Jeff Buckley, “Grace”
Comments: yes, i suppose this is the goal.

Why should life be full of so much pain?
Song: The End of the Affair Soundtrack, “Intimacy”
Comments: fitting

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: Bjork, “Undo”
Comments: hmm…alright.

Will I ever have (more) children?
Song: Fugazi, “Suggestion”
Comments: i’m interpreting this as NO.

Will I die happy?
Song: Heavenly Creatures Soundtrack, “The Princess of Ilam”
Comments: probably not, but at least i’ll be a princess, who could ask for more?

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Elliott Smith, “Say Yes”
Comments: suppose it all depends on what i’m saying “yes” to.
chocolate? yes!
more kids? hmm…not yes.

What is happiness?
Song: Madonna, “Deeper and Deeper”
Comments: “i'm never gonna hide it again”

What is my favorite fetish?
Song: Morrissey, “November Spawned a Monster”
Comments: honestly don’t even care what this means.

How will I be remembered?
Song: Rufus Wainwright, “Shadows”
Comments: “out of these shadows comes the light…”

photos, as promised

2006-04-07T18:32:00.000-07:00

i love aruba, i love it so much i barely took any photos because i was having too much fun to be bothered with snapping pictures.

but yes, the water really is THAT blue and the snorkeling is great.

relaxing on the balcony

brimstone fortress st. kitts

woke up monday morning in st. kitts

trunk bay, as beautiful as i imagined it would be.

st. thomas in the morning

2006-03-24T13:50:00.000-08:00

trunk bay, st. john, virgin islands.

(yes, i'm going to this exact beach yay!)

i'm on my way to the caribbean, leaving tonight, arriving in puerto rico

tomorrow then onto a ship that will take me to st. thomas, St. Kitts & Nevis, Grenada, Isla Margarita, and lastly, Aruba.

will post some photos sometime next week.

the artist at work

2006-03-15T10:55:00.000-08:00

2006-03-14T09:05:00.000-08:00

i'm home from my visit with amber, and i miss her terribly. we had a very nice visit. i've met internet friends before but this was different. it didn't feel like we were just internet friends, but like we'd known each other for ages. i suppose a lot of that comes from talking pretty much every single day, but also because we just "click." amber and i aren't exactly alike, and we don't share all the same tastes and opinions, but that's not what makes people good friends, is it? it's something deeper. sometimes you just meet someone who you instantly recognize as a friend.

it's also nice to be home with the kids, i missed them a lot even though a break every now and then is needed. alexa seems older, like she grew up a little within a few days. she is talking more and insisting on doing EVERYTHING herself. i hear "i do, i do!" a lot.

24 hrs from now...

2006-03-08T15:13:00.000-08:00

...i will be stepping off a plane in detroit, where my good friend amber joy will meet me (we'll hug of course) and she will drive me over the border to her home in canada. it's almost like a kidnapping, except i bought myself the airline ticket. after over two years of friendship, this will be the first time we meet in the flesh. needless to say, i am very excited!!

friday is amber joy's birthday and since i won't be online much for the next several days i wanted to officially wish her HAPPY BIRTHDAY on my blog.

i'll see you in about 24 hours ambi.

My great love

2006-02-10T06:47:00.000-08:00

I know I haven't been great at keeping up with my blog lately. What has consumed my time and energy is my passionate, undying love for AJ. She is such an amazing, beautiful, lovely woman and I just can't get my fill of her. *sigh* AmberJoy is just perfect. Really, I can't stop gushing over her, but I don't want any of you puking on your monitors, so I will restrain myself from rambling on too long about my obsession with AJ.

*And just in case you didn't realize it, this is actually AJ typing. I raided Rayna's blog in her sleep. Ssshhh...let's see how long it takes her to notice.

poor neglected blog

2006-01-25T16:24:00.000-08:00

it's not that i have nothing to say, it's just that all the things i would like to say are not appropriate for this space.

so for lack of anything better to post here, i give you a photograph of a bunch of eggs. eggs laid by my ducks and chickens. they're the best darned birds i've ever known. good job ladies!

2006-01-19T09:44:00.000-08:00

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there."

~Rumi

hold onto your friends

2006-01-04T22:22:00.000-08:00

a bond of trust
has been abused
something of value
may be lost
give up your job
squander your cash - be rash
just hold on to your friends
there are more than enough
to fight and oppose
why waste good time
fighting the people you like
who will fall
defending your name
don't feel so ashamed
to have friends

but now you only call me
when you're feeling depressed
when you feel happy
i'm so far from your mind
my patience is stretched
my loyalty vexed
you're losing all of your friends

hold on to your friends
hold on to your friends
resist - or move on
be mad, be rash
smoke and explode
sell all of your clothes
just bear in mind:
there just might come a time
when you need some friends

~morrissey (vauxhall & i)

look who is the ABC champ!

2006-01-04T17:55:00.000-08:00

2005-12-25T10:09:00.000-08:00

Christ is Born!

le mur de l'art

2005-12-20T22:52:00.000-08:00

this masterpeice hangs in my kitchen on the pantry door.

do not open until christmas

2005-12-20T22:43:00.000-08:00

thankfully my kids don't read my blog, either because it's too boring or because only one of them has a clue about the basic alphabet--in any case i think it's safe to share some photos of their christmas gifts.

the boys each are receiving a wooden boat and chalkboard and chalk sets, as well as some star wars stocking stuffers. alexa is receiving a cloth doll, and a set of wooden farm animals. i'm pretty sure they will all be quite pleased.

2005-12-20T17:31:00.000-08:00

The time of our salvation draws near!

Prepare, O cave!
The Virgin draws near to bear the Christ.

Rejoice, Bethlehem, land of Judah,

for our Lord has come from you!
All you lands, know the

coming of Christ Who comes

as the Lover of mankind

to save mankind

whom He has

made.

2005-12-20T14:01:00.000-08:00

i want this quilt, or rather i want to MAKE this quilt. over the last year i have been collecting fat quarters of fabric that i think are TO DIE for, and i want to use these, mixed with some pieces of alexa's baby outfits to make a quilt just like this. (wow, was THAT a run-on, or what?) i like how the quilt is heavy on white with simple rectangles of color. perfection.

i found the quilt on wee wonderfuls which offers sample of many adorable things. i can hardly stand how adorable they all are.

merry christmas to me!

2005-12-08T15:45:00.000-08:00

samorost 2 is out TODAY, and it looks like another beautiful game.

in case you missed it's predecessor, let me introduce you to one of the most charming online games ever made, somorost.

also by amanita designs is "the pantry" which is a fun musical plaything (kids like this one.)

happy st. nicholas day!

2005-12-06T13:55:00.000-08:00

The Story of Saint Nicholas (for small children)

Once there was a little boy
who lived by the shore of the sea.
He watched the ships go sailing by
all wrapped in mystery.

"What do you carry,where do you go?"
he said as he saw them there.
I hope you bring many good things
to girls and boys everywhere."

Nicholas was the little boy's name,
in case you'd like to know.
He loved surprising others with gifts
and seeing their faces glow.

Then he would hide
and no one would know
the one who loved them,
who loved them so.

Once a father had grown so poor
as to sell his daughters three.

Three nights
to his window Nicholas came
with gold to keep them free.

Nicholas went to church one day
and all the people stood:
"You have a heart like God's,"they said,
"A heart that is so good.
Will you be our bishop
And lead us as God would?"

When Nicholas died
God welcomed him
to heaven's great applause:
"Well done, well done, good Nicholas,
for serving well my cause."

Now every Christmas
Nicholas comes with gifts
for girls and boys.
You know his name as Nicholas,
But it's also Santa Claus.

O Good St. Nicholas,
children's friend,friend of girls and boys,
through the clouds come again,
and fill your bag with toys.

Give me too a giving heart,
for loving others too,
I want to know how good it is
to give good gifts like you.

Victor Hoagland, C.P.

advent calender

2005-12-06T13:48:00.000-08:00

a lovely advent calender from greenland

http://www.santa.gl/uk/Adventcalendar/

2005-12-04T19:01:00.000-08:00

today is the day i noticed that isaac is now a BOY and not a toddler. when did this happen and why didn't i notice the minute it did?
forgive me for getting all weepy here but take a look at this and just try to tell me he didn't grow up too fast:

lumos!

2005-12-04T18:41:00.000-08:00

daniel installed canister lights in the ceiling today and i LOVE them!

we've never had a good light source in the livingroom, except those 3 large windows, but then it's dark once the sun goes down, except for the comforting glow of the television.

so there they are...aren't they lovely? i can't wait to sit by myself in my livingroom and read a book with proper light. can someone fold that HUGE pile of laundry that now sits on my reading chair?

we discussed their placement for what seemed like hours, but in the end function triumphed over form. there were only so many places daniel could insert the canisters because of ceiling rafters and such. i like how they turned out, but understand that there is no "fung shui" happening here, neither is there some deep symbolic meaning to their placement. the triangle shape is purely accidental. well, not accidental really--but neccessary.

whatever the case, now we both want canister lights all over the house. i love me a well lit room. oh, and the best thing about our new lights is the dimmer which allows them to fade to a less intense light for "ambience."

thank you daniel!!

2005-12-04T16:58:00.000-08:00

Some Talking in Bed

Talking in bed ought to be easiest,
Lying together there goes back so far,
An emblem of two people being honest.

Yet more and more time passes silently
Outside, the wind's incomplete unrest
Builds and disperses clouds about the sky,

And dark towns heap up on the horizon.
None of this cares for us.
Nothing shows why
At this unique distance from isolation

It becomes still more difficult to find
Words at once true and kind,
Or not untrue and not unkind.

by Philip Larkin from The Collected Poems

eliott the surrealist

2005-12-03T09:50:00.000-08:00

eliott's kindergarten class has been assigned a project. the project involves the outline of a very LARGE gingerbread man on dark brown construction paper. attached to this gingerbread man are instructions on how to progress and complete the assignment. each child is to take the outlined gingerbread man home and "work together" with their family members (as defined by the child and in eliott's case this includes the dog, the cousins and all aunties and uncles) to decorate the gingerbread man ANY WAY THEY LIKE. this is a little dangerous in this family.

i asked eliott if he would like to allow each person involved to choose something THEY would like to put on the little man of ginger and paper molassas. he announced that, no he would decide what everyone would glue on. and for himself he decided that he would like to stick some old wooden mousetraps, the ones we have in the pantry, onto mr. gingerbread, and "do we have any glue strong enough to hold them?"

i spent a few second trying to convince him that i wasn't sure that was the idea but then realized that my son is an artist, not merely a five year old tacking macaroni and callico scraps onto contruction paper.

me: what else should we add to the project?

eliott: can we get some of those little toy mice that cat's play with?

me: no, they are usually made of real animal fur, do you think we should give our money for those?

eliott: no, that's disgusting!

*eliott thinks for a minute*

eliott: what about using some of mingus' hair? that's not disgusting is it?

me: umm...yea, i think it sort of is.

this reminds me of something completely off topic concerning animal pelts. when i was a junior in highschool our class (of 8 students) took a trip to british columbia. i can't remember all the places we visited, in fact, oddly enough the entire trip is a little bit of a blur to me, except some details that stand out. one such detail being that as a "practical joke" one of the girls in my class decided to purchase a rabbit pelt at one of those touristy "tradepost" type places and sneak into my hotel room and ever so cruely place it under my pillow to be found that night when i slipped my hand under as i was drifting off to sleep. this may seem odd to some, since i suppose there are those who would have thanked her for the kind gift and draped the thing over their dresser once home.

the thing is, i was KNOWN in school as an animal rights activist. every speech, every report that i could get away with it was on the subject of animal research, testing, vivasection, use of animals as circus performers etc... it was well known how i would feel about a dead rabbit under my pillow.
lead by this girl (whom, to this day still thinks this joke is funny) my entire class...well the girls anyway, waited in anticipation for bedtime so they could laugh their asses off at their own clever hilarity.

nobody laughed that night.

i found the dead rabbit and in my over zealous sense of injustice i turned to them with tears in my eyes and calmly asked them how they would feel if i had left aborted fetuses under all their pillows.

*gasp*

next morning an adult chaperone had been told what happened and what i had said and of course in the typical fashion of right-winged evangelicals, i was reprimanded for daring to compare dead animals to HUMAN babies. i guess they missed my point all together. even as an animal activist i knew the difference between human and animal life and the measure of their importance... i was desperately trying to make those 16 year old girls understand that we all have issues that are important to us, they of course in the footsteps of their youth leaders and parents were passionate about pro-life issues (so was i) and i was also passionate about animals and their welfare. what kind of "joke" was it to do that to me? certainly not a funny one... but i suppose looking back now i can't expect most 16 year old girls to understand my passion for that issue.

i remember now (it just came back to me) that the rabbit pelt was purchased at the capilano suspension bridge. and in connection with surrealists (which is where this entry began) and namely salvador dali, i recall reading that when he was a youth he flung a small child over the side of a suspension bridge. i guess as a form of art? or maybe because he was completely mad from very early on. i don't recall whether i had thoughts of pushing those girls over the side of the capilano suspension bridge or not. but it's entirely possible i did.

back to eliott and his gingerbread man. we've decided to take the thing to be worked on at grandma's house where there is an abundance of macaroni noodles and fabric remnants if the mood for that sort of mediocrity should strike us. i will try to get a photo of the finished product and post it here for all to critique.

for now i'm going to attempt to figure out how to "disarm" a mousetrap so that i don't get sued by any kindergarten parents whose child may find their finger trapped in eliott's school project.

mingus minus 2

2005-12-02T15:39:00.000-08:00

we are down to one dog now. we had to find a new home for the other 2 this last weekend for several reasons which include their age, their ability to cope with small children, alexa's asthma and some potty issues that i didn't have the time or energy to deal with.

so now it's just me and mingus. he's heartbroken and i am therefore heartbroken for him. i have decided to pamper him like mad in hopes that he will snap out of his depression. in the last week he has been given a new bed, new shampoo, new squeaky toys and treats, special weight management food and a doggie seatbelt since he is now traveling in the car with me everyday. also i found some homeopathics for dogs today and got some "anxiety" drops for him which i hope and pray will calm his poor nerves.

mingus just lost his two best friends, his brothers... is that too much for a little puggy dog to handle? i hope not, otherwise i might be asking the vet for some doggie prozac to get him through this.

never violence

2005-12-02T09:04:00.000-08:00

*my friend bonny left this for me in my comments. i think it is SO right on that i wanted to make sure it was out here for everyone to see.

Never Violence By Astrid Lindgren
Reprinted from Father Times, Spring 1995, Volume 3, Issue 4. Astrid Lindgren is author of Pippi Longstocking.

Above all, I believe that there should never be any violence. In 1978 I received a peace prize in West Germany for my books, and I gave an accepting speech that I called just that: "Never Violence." And in that speech I told a story from my own experience.
When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor's wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn't believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking - the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, "Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here's a rock that you can throw at me."

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child's point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery— one can raise children into violence.

yum

2005-12-01T09:36:00.000-08:00

i eat paste

holidays at light speed

2005-11-27T18:51:00.000-08:00

daniel put up the $40 fake tree tonight. we weren't even planning on having one but then the both of us were stricken with christmas guilt. daniel rushed out and bought the cheapest tree he could fine and set it up for the kids to ooooo & ahhhhh over. eliott asked if today was christmas so i tossed him a bottle of hand sanitizer and said "yea, merry christmas kiddo...enjoy." he looked confused...but the tree makes him happy so there is $40 well spent.

i was talking to a dear friend the other day about older parents (of adult children) who suddently get the urge to make traditions, even though they didn't put a lot of effort into it when their children were young. this is quite sad and irritating for the children. holidays consisted of football and over eating as children, but suddenly mom wants to share a "moment" with her children now that they are adults?
i guess it's something about getting older...or maybe something mom read in some book about strengthening family bonds. i don't know, but all i can say is that this year i'm thankful that my mother isn't going through this yet.

our thanksgiving consisted of a late breakfast with my sister and parents, basketball and playtime in the barn, and a few games of apples to apples. that is about all the family "tradition" i can stomach. will i begin to "create" traditions with my own kids while they are young? i don't feel so inspired. they get to experience the traditions of orthodoxy...st. nicholas day, liturgy on nativity, theophany etc... these are the important traditions to us, the ones i hope will last in their lives. and i don't mind forking out $40 for a plastic tree every so often either.

embrace your inner nerd!

2005-11-22T13:36:00.000-08:00

π

*make sure speakers are up*

2005-11-14T17:34:00.000-08:00

today, november 14th is the birthday of the swedish author

astrid lindgren.

best known for writing pippi longstocking and the tomten.

a list of the astrid lindgren books i have in my collection:

the tomten

the brothers lionheart

the adventures of pippi longstocking

mirabelle

most beloved sister

and speaking of children's books, the kids and i have been reading "mightier than the sword" by jane yolen and just ordered "not one damsel in distress" by same author. alexa is a bit young for the stories, but i think the boys will enjoy the stories for girls as well. they don't know yet that they aren't supposed to like "girl things."

creepy, yet irresistible

2005-11-01T20:38:00.000-08:00

loretta lux

merengue!

2005-10-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

))<>((

2005-10-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

stephen and i saw "me and you and everyone we know" last Saturday. i really enjoyed it but it's probably not the kind of film i would bring up in mixed company or readily admit that i liked. i laughed ridiculously hard--long, uncomfortable laughter--disturbed yet refreshed laughter. this is the sort of film that if i recommended to my mother and she were to watch it, she would ask "what the hell is wrong with you?" and maybe not just my mother.

stephen described it as "stupid and great" and oddly enough i totally know what he means by that.

and for those who've seen this film and also think it is "stupid and great" i just noticed that tee shirts are available with you guessed it:

))<>((

i can easily see this becoming something big...not so much the film, but ))<>((. if you're lost right now, i can only say watch this movie...but don't tell anyone that i recommended it, especially my mother.

don't look so sad

2005-10-26T12:18:00.000-07:00

all little ones are bathed in a sink at least once in their babyhood. not all look quite so adorable while doing so, but we can't hold that against them, can we?

i'd forgotten about this photo until yesterday a friend and i were sorting through all my trillions of digital photographs stored on this machine and i rediscovered these. what memories and such a reminder of how fast they grow.

taken last week

2005-10-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

stephen and alexandra playing follow the leader.

the story of how i found you...

2005-10-25T11:26:00.000-07:00

is a true story, one of danger and intrigue. okay, not really, but it could end up as either very matter of fact or too transparent and vulnerable for my taste. we shall see.

"secret eating..." you know the rest. i found this so very clever and irreverently humorous. and those who know me, know i love irreverent humor, sometimes a little too much. so i came home sunday afternoon and did a google search on that hilarious phrase from the evening confession. i wanted to see it in context. what i found was this great blog, and so i read and read. "what a great blog" i was thinking as i read and how interesting that this came up in the google search for "secret eating..." (did i just write in circles there? sure seems that way.)

i still had no idea whose blog i was reading, but i decided to bookmark it for later. so monday (naptime?) i came back to it, and only after a few entries i realized "don't i know this person?" and "yes...yes, i think i DO know this person. in fact i was just to lunch with her yesterday." and "why didn't i know about this before?" all these thoughts crossed my mind. so of course, in the spirit of my sister and her over-indulgence i read the entire blog "cover to cover." delightful! it really is.

now i was left with the decision of whether to email said blogger, or leave comment. a comment is so "uncommitted" while an email seemed a little too "intimate." why do i care about these things? the middle ground seemed obvious-- i will link to this blog in an unassuming attempt to let her know that i've read and i approve. in order to comment i needed an account and in the process of setting up my account i realized how much better i like blogger over xanga. "xanga is for amateurs" is what i am telling myself because i like to feel superior.

here's where things take a turn for the vulnerable:

i sort of wish i had sent an email. not that i wouldn't also set up a blogger account, move my blog here and leave comments-a-plenty on your blog and others, but because i wish i were more able to reach out to people in ways that scare me a little. i wish i were able to say "can we be friends?" in the real world, as well as the blogosphere. i've never been good at this. my lack of sociability comes off as snobbery i'm afraid, and don't get me wrong, i am a snob, but not when it comes to people.

all this to say i'm glad i found your blog, i think it's wonderful and look forward to future reading.

on a technical note: must one always do the whole "word verification" process for each and every entry?

dirt

2005-10-24T20:12:00.000-07:00

it can't only be me. i just can't be the only one who leaves watery mud footprints on the bottom of the bath tub when i jump in the shower at midday. i admit my feet get filthy, what with wood floors, toddlers and small canines everywhere. and my nasty habit of caring for the chickens whilst wearing flip flops.
i take decent care of my feet, i really do. pedicures a few times a year. gentle exfoliation once a week and a good soak and scrub bi-monthly...but they still get so dirty day to day. i get into the shower, face the hot water for a few seconds to warm myself up, then turn around to find drippy footprints, slowly washing toward the drain.
am i the only one? probably. i bet if i wore socks more often this would not happen to me. but then i'd be washing that many more socks each week...that's just not acceptable. washing foot dirt down the drain is so much easier, even if it is gross...
...and speaking of dirt. i love the smell of dirt. not the grime that collects on baseboards or windowsills, but SOIL, EARTH, TERRA FIRMA. if you're like me, you need to get AVEDA'S "sap moss" hair conditioner. there is nothing quite so wonderful as hair that smells of dirt. the name is misleading. SAP MOSS. it smells neither of sap nor moss, unless of course the moss is growing on a dirty fallen tree in the woods. aveda describes the scent as "arboreal" which doesn't quite capture the sense of dirt enough, in my opinion. sap moss smells like dirt, love it or hate it. i think it is the greatest hair care product ever invented. the smell of fresh soil soaking into my hair, just as my muddy prints are swirling down the tub drain, it's quite a pleasant moment in my day.

formally known as...

2005-10-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

miercoles but due to a serious case of blog envy i have made plans to continue my blogging (career?) here at blogger where the air is cleaner, the schools are nicer and the neighbors don't clutter their yards with pink flamengos and garden gnomes.